Broken, but Better!

“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching,

……….. I have been bent and broken, but I hope into

better shape.” Charles Dickens – Great Expectations

I remember my grandmother used to always say, “Ya ain’t miss nothing til ya dead.” If I were to take a poll of persons who have gone through something in their lives, I’m quite sure some would agree that there was some good that came out of it. Some missing piece of the puzzle put into place, some revelation or an increase in faith.

My “something” happened to me almost two years ago. As Sophia from “Golden Girls” would say, “Picture it Nassau, The Bahamas 2014.” I was dating the man that I thought I would marry and share the rest of my life with. I thought that true love and happiness had finally come my way. I was happy in a way that I had never known before. I had started looking for wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses, color schemes, all things wedding related. But unbeknownst to me my fairy tale world would soon come to a crashing end.

All was going well until May 2014 when I got a text message (yes a text message) saying that he could no longer do this. I looked at the message in disbelief; surely he sent this message by mistake. My heart felt as though a bull dozer had just driven through it. I messaged him, hoping he would say it was a mistake. So I called, only to have those words both confirm and release the full weight of pain and rejection. He said, “I can’t do this any longer.”

I wish I could say that I was this brave, independent, and strong, woman who said, “Fine I don’t need you anyway,” but alas that was not so. I broke down and cried, and cried and cried some more. I even continued to try and get him back. Asking what I can do or say to change his mind. But after speaking with my Pastor he gave me the best advice. He said to me, “Rochelle, let it go. There is nothing you can do to make someone do something they don’t want to. He said “Why chase after someone who has made it clear they don’t want you?” Harsh words? Yes, but sobering. God’s plan for your life will be established, so any attempts to correct what YOU think is wrong are futile.

I started refocusing, on God and His word rather than my hurt. I started relying and calling on strength and peace that only God could give. These things caused my heart to mend and heal, it was then I heard the voice of God say, “If you thought that was good (and I thought it was) just wait until you see what I have in store for you. If you thought, you knew what love was just wait until the love I have for you is made manifest.” So in December of 2014 I picked myself up dried my tears and haven’t looked back since.

Psalm 147:3 reminds us that “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” You see I realized that God had mended me from that moment He spoke those words to me. I was no longer broken but I was better. Like this quote says, “Broken things can become blessed things if you let God do the mending.”